<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>hold my hand, now it burns by Mowmowmice</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419107">hold my hand, now it burns</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mowmowmice/pseuds/Mowmowmice'>Mowmowmice</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M, Not really a ship fic, lol ignore this, mostly just introspection, reinerxeren if you SQUINTTTT, this is mainly for alaska anyways so like dont read</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 03:26:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>739</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419107</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mowmowmice/pseuds/Mowmowmice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Reiner Braun stands in front of him. A man with so little to say, and yet so undoubtedly similar to Eren that it makes him want to laugh. They’ve known each other only two years now, and yet sometimes, he feels as though Reiner is the only one who truly understands what he thinks. He understands what it feels like to lose. To lose and to want vengeance for it. </p>
<p>Reiner has lost before. Eren can tell. He doesn’t know what he lost, but he can tell.</p>
<p>Eren doesn’t ask what it is. Reiner never tells.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Reiner Braun &amp; Eren Yeager, Reiner Braun/Eren Yeager</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>hold my hand, now it burns</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>In a world full of darkness, humanity flickers to light like a moth to flame. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The façade in which the regular folk live in never ceases to baffle him. They believe, behind the walls, they are all safe. They believe they are exempt from it all,  that beasts like those can never possibly come after them or their families. They believe that even if that event ever did come to pass, their knees won’t buckle. They will stand and fight. They believe they will win. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He knows better. The images of Wall Maria make sure of that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eren stares at the flickering light in front of him, watching the candle as wax drips down it once, then twice. If he were someone else, Armin, perhaps, he could draw out some symbolic metaphor from this-the light, the melting wax, the dying flame-. A lack of inspiration prevents him from doing so, however, so he opts to stare instead. Stare at the dying flame, stare at the melting candle, until the darkness can engulf him completely.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oi, Eren. You’ll hurt your eyes staring at that too long.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A deep voice rings out in front of him, loud and close, but it takes Eren a few moments to register. It takes him longer to lift his gaze from the candle, meeting a gaze with a forlorn expression and a wrinkled forehead. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Reiner Braun stands in front of him. A man with so little to say, and yet so undoubtedly similar to Eren that it makes him want to laugh. They’ve known each other only two years now, and yet sometimes, he feels as though Reiner is the only one who truly understands what he thinks. He understands what it feels like to </span>
  <em>
    <span>lose. </span>
  </em>
  <span>To lose and to want </span>
  <em>
    <span>vengeance </span>
  </em>
  <span>for it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Reiner has lost before. Eren can tell. He doesn’t know what he lost, but he can tell.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eren doesn’t ask what it is. Reiner never tells. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A fragile companionship between them turned into a hesitant friendship, and though Eren is pained to admit it, even two years later he finds himself always looking to Reiner first for guidance. He supposed that was one difference between them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Despite his friendship with Reiner, a heavy feeling of uneasiness falls over his shoulders as he stares at that expression on Reiner’s face. The candle illuminates the features on his face, light brightening his already golden hair to fan his face like a golden halo. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Eren holds back a laugh. As angel-like as his face may be, Reiner Braun is definitely not one of them. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Behind the tight-lipped smiles and the slow, languid laughs that Reiner dares to share to the world, Eren finds the undeniable want from him to prove himself. It’s such a strange expression for Reiner to wear, Eren personally never bearing witness to it. But he knows it’s there. He can </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel </span>
  </em>
  <span>it there. Part of him wants to ask why. He wants to know who Reiner so desperately wishes to prove himself to. Has he not already, with his outstanding performances as a cadet? With the respect from his comrades and commanders alike?</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once again, Eren keeps his lips shut. He has his secrets. It’s natural that Reiner must, too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They are so alike. So alike in ways that Eren sometimes loses sleep thinking about. He hates knowing that there is someone, someone like him, who has the same thoughts. Who has the same feelings that he does.  He hates it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But he can't bring himself to hate Reiner. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“..Blow it out, Eren.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren blows out the candles and stands, swaying slightly. The candle is already melted halfway,  his legs are asleep from sitting down for so long, and he’s squinting because of the harsh light the fire caused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Reiner stares at him, expression unreadable, turns around, and begins to leave the room. Eren stares after.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t ask how Reiner knew he was there. He doesn’t ask how Reiner knew what he was thinking about, staring at the melting candle. He doesn’t ask how Reiner knows he will follow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Reiner doesn’t tell him. He simply walks away, a silent hand outstretched, waiting for Eren to take it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eren lingers by the doorway, hesitates, then shifts more of his weight to one leg. He doesn’t trust this. He doesn’t trust a man who thinks like him. He doesn’t trust himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t trust Reiner.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He takes the outstretched hand anyways. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>